Begin This New Year’s Resolution With A THANKS!
|A NOTE FROM DR. RICK
Begin This New Year’s Resolution With A THANKS!
The New Year is here and you know what’s coming. Family members, friends and coworkers will ask, “What are your resolutions this year?” Usually it’s just an idle conversation starter. But sometimes they are seriously interested, which may mean to you that you need to get serious about making one. The very idea may make you annoyed, anxious or even depressed.
The trouble with those New Years’ resolutions is that they are notoriously hard to keep. In fact, research about the success rate (yes, people do research these things) is pretty grim. About 80% or more of resolutions fail by February; most in the first 48 hours! And yet 45% or more of Americans admit to making them. Even those who don’t actually make them do generally muse about whether they should or could.
How about an attitude adjustment as a new year resolution? What if we make more of an effort to thank those around us more often?
What do you feel when someone thanks you for something? For a comment in a meeting, or a task you may have done at home or work. It’s a small extra step taken to present an encouraging word to someone. Think of a time when you were encouraged. For myself, when I reflect upon the kind words of gratitude or affirming me for something I may have done, it illuminates my day. Often years later I will recall that compliment and gratitude to help me in times when I may be struggling.
You probably feel recognized, appreciated, and that you matter to the other person; maybe a little surprised, maybe wondering if you really deserve it, but also glad they acknowledged you.
You can’t possibly say thank you to everything you’re given. No one can. So, when you do say thanks, it’s a token of your appreciation. It will make you happy. And in giving thanks for the people in your life, you open the door to receiving their thanks in return. In your home or company, a nice circle, a step toward a culture of gratitude.
That I may publish with the voice of thanksgiving, and tell of all thy wondrous works. Psalms 26:7 (KJV)
What does it mean to be in the present moment? Take the following quiz to discover how much, and in what ways you detach from the present moment or are truly present.
T/F 1. I have a tendency to live in the future, projecting into tomorrow, or next week or even years from now.
T/F 2. I spend much of my time thinking about the past, replaying conversations or reliving incidents or events, or I play “what if” in my mind.
T/F 3. Sometimes when I’m in conversation with someone, I can’t remember what was just said.
T/F 4. When eating a meal, my family often watches TV or videos or reads.
T/F 5. In talking with someone, I think of how I’m going to respond rather than listening to what the other person is saying.
T/F 6. I tend to worry.
T/F 7. I try to figure out how things will work out or what someone else will do.
T/F 8. I allow the telephone or pager to interrupt whatever I’m doing.
T/F 9. I often/frequently hope for something better or different.
T/F 10. I often/frequently dread something worse will happen.
T/F 11. I find myself always busy, with never an empty or spare moment.
T/F 12. When I am feeling uncomfortable in a situation, I change the subject or get up and move around, or get something to eat/drink/do.
T/F 13. In some situations, I find myself getting sleepy or yawning when I’m not really tired.
T/F 14. I find it difficult to maintain eye contact when I’m talking with someone.
T/F 15. Sometimes I can’t remember what I just read or I don’t know what just took place in the movie or video I’m watching.
T/F 16. When I’m with certain people, we talk about others (gossiping, discussing shortcomings or talking about their problems).
T/F 17. I take my cell phone everywhere and it’s always on.
T/F 18. My conversations with others tend to be about superficial subjects.
T/F 19. Rather than staying with my emotions and naming them (“I am feeling…”), I attempt to alter the feelings.
T/F 20. In my family or with my partner, we watch TV programs that we don’t really care about rather than interact with each other.
Many of us may feel a push-pull when it comes to intimacy. We want to be closer to others, but the vulnerability that it demands is too frightening. Or we may feel restless or distracted or just plain uncomfortable when we attempt to stay in the present. If you have any questions or you’d like to talk about your response to this quiz, please don’t hesitate to call reach out to us 678-395-7922.
Boundaries; Do they really matter?
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THE COMPASS CONSULTING TEAM
Dr. Rick Petronella, PhD
Bethany Kinzel — MA, LPC, NCC
Charity L Simpson, MS, LAPC, NCC, MDiv
Bob Roland Th.M.